The Great Dowry Debate: Cut It or Up It

If you’re Muslim and have any sort of connection to the Internet then I’m sure you’ve heard of Deen Squad. Deen Squad, comprised of Canadian students Jae Deen and Karter Zaher, take popular rap songs and remix remake them with “halal lyrics”. Their version of Fetty Wap’s Trap QueenMuslim Queen , at the time of this post has over 1.4 million views on YouTube and has catapulted them to Internet stardom.

Deen Squad has been making their way through the current popular rap catalog putting their own “halalified” spin on monster tracks such as OMI’s Cheerleader, Drake’s Know Yourself, and Desiigner’s Panda. O.T. Genisis’ Cut It has been been making its way around the globe as one of this summer’s most popular tracks. True to form, Deen Squad released their own version of Cut It addressing women’s dowry. The song boasts lines such as:

Her dowry way too hide she need to cut it.
All of the Akhis been broke. All of us tryna get married.
We’re all tryna find righteous sistas, but we’re always just dealing with parents.

Oh boy.

So apparently brothas are meeting sistas who want extraordinary dowries? I don’t have any friends (that I know of) who want/wanted a milli for dowries but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Here’s the problem though, all the blame CAN NOT be put on the sistas. Every brotha isn’t broke. And every sista isn’t asking for a small island. Are we to believe that all the men are broke and all the women just want those dolla dolla bills y’all? Yes we marry someone for their righteousness and taqwa (G-d consciousness), but I have yet to figure out how to pay rent with righteousness. And what do sistas have to say about it?

Enter Miss Undastood.

The Queens – emcee spared no feelings in her rebuttal to the Deen Squad. The sista has bars. And while her punchlines may be funny and witty, her response introduces the other side of the Great Dowry Debate and raises some valid points. Some brothers are trying to get over, and unfortunately some sistas are falling for it. Brothas approach sistas with the intent of marriage and only have Qur’anic recitation to offer. Bet he won’t offer Baqarah, just Falaq and Nas. (I kid you not, when she said that I HOLLERED). Brothas promise certain things as a dowry and don’t follow through. (I need to look up if a sista really had to take a brotha to court in order to get her dowry. If that’s a true story……bruh…….). Nonetheless, Miss Undastood highlights not only hypocrisy that has crept into the Great Dowry Debate, but she also makes note of the sistas’ importance to the relationship itself.

From housework to childbirth, put some respect on our name.
I’ve heard of sistas getting rocks. I’ve heard of sistas getting socks.

The issue of dowry comes up often and there seems to be a constant debate between the sexes causing a severe imbalance. If a sista has a certain standard of living that she is accustomed to, you can’t fault her for choosing to be with a brotha who can maintain that standard of living. Furthermore, all Muslim women do not have that train of thought. There are sistas who will consider a brotha who can only accommodate a certain standard of living, but brotha you have to come correct. You can’t come to a sista with no goals, no plans, no job and expect her to just fall into your arms.

But I’m in college. I’m broke. 

You very well may be, however within the next year or four (depending on your academic standing) you will have a degree  and the expectation is that you will find employment from which you can support your family with. Yes I know the job market is terrible but your goal isn’t to be unemployed. Your education is an investment and serves as a good reason as to why you are marriage material.

Sis, I didn’t go to college.

And that’s fine. College isn’t for everyone. However you have to support yourself somehow, yes? I don’t know your particular skill set but I do know that if you’re looking to support a wife and eventually a family, you need income homie.

Sis I’ve been in between jobs. It’s hard out here for brothas especially in this economy and….

I hear you brotha. If you can’t support yourself let alone a family, then maybe you shouldn’t be looking for a wife right now, ya know? I know you have physical needs but bruh, you’ve got financial needs that need some attending to before you start asking about dowries.

Truth be told, maybe the sista is just out of your league. It is what it is. This needs to be analyzed on a case by case basis though. Every sista isn’t trying to break your bank. And if you present yourself to her correctly, she may be willing to work something out with you. There are many a sista who married a brotha who didn’t have a boat load of cash. She had a modest dowry and she and her husband have built wealth together. That DOES NOT mean, brothas, that you should step to a sista and her father like “Aye, I’m broke. I may get money later. Marry me anyway.” Furthermore asking women to lower their dowries is suspect when we see brothas ballin’ out, chains swinging, rims shining and so forth. Once again, all brothas aren’t ballin’, and all sistas aren’t expecting you to be.

But my dear brothas, be very careful when you make these generalizations. Every sista isn’t out to get a check. Every brotha isn’t of pure intentions. Yes, some sistas may have more pricey dowries as the Deen Squad mentioned, but at the same time some brothas also aren’t doing right by the sistas and are just cheap, as MissUndastood so eloquently reminds us.

Check Miss Undastood’s response here:

 

Seriously though, did a sista really have to take her husband to court to get her dowry? TO COURT? My goodness….


 

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One thought on “The Great Dowry Debate: Cut It or Up It

  1. R C says:

    Some of these dowry request are determined what some of these sisters are owed in Uu paid Child support 😠

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